(two years of japanese in college and this is the one word that sticks the most in my mind.)
it's really hard to articulate but sometimes i feel like i'm not really living my life. i feel like i'm living in this hazy cloud and i recall memories like i had seen them in an album and not really experienced them. this is actually kind of true because i take hundreds of pictures. which is good and bad. good because i can look and remember otherwise i'd forget. bad because instead of living in the moment, i'm focusing on the angle of a shot. vicious cycle. i had thought it was depression but now i just don't know. it's like i'm not mentally THERE a lot of the time and it's incredibly frustrating. i have to focus really hard to listen to people and to pay attention to my surroundings otherwise my brain just drifts back into its hazy cloud. i don't think i used to be like this . . .
thailand blogg
貿易摩擦
03 July 2006 at 8:22 PM
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About Me
I am a Peace Corps Volunteer serving as an English teacher in the south of Thailand. The random ramblings within this blog in no way represent the views of the Peace Corps, its affiliates or the United States Government. They're my random ramblings and mine alone. Mwahaha.
That said, I'm into taking lots of pictures, stand-up comedy, and in general, enjoying life (which may or may not sometimes involve traveling).
That said, I'm into taking lots of pictures, stand-up comedy, and in general, enjoying life (which may or may not sometimes involve traveling).
Quotes
Anais Nin:
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
Jenny Kane, PCV 118. From "Recycle Love" article in Sticky Rice magazine:
"The relationships we create in the world, the love in essence that we put out in the world, on any particular day, is what life is about ... Love the pain, the tears, love the work of getting through each day. Love and, despite love, even, love again, and more."
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
"To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded."
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
Jenny Kane, PCV 118. From "Recycle Love" article in Sticky Rice magazine:
"The relationships we create in the world, the love in essence that we put out in the world, on any particular day, is what life is about ... Love the pain, the tears, love the work of getting through each day. Love and, despite love, even, love again, and more."
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
"To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded."
4 comments:
10:39 AM
Seriously, try a b-complex. I wasn't felling like that, but i'd gone from remembering every detail of every conversation, knowing where everything is from memory, and never forgetting an engagement, to literally having to writing everything down. Started taking b-complex (i only take 1 every other day cause that's as frequently as i can stand the smell), and all of that is going away.
10:39 AM
ps. what's that word?
10:57 AM
"trade friction"
3:39 PM
i love this post. it is super duper.
i identify. two levels of good representation here. sometimes i think i forgot how to live, but then i start telling stories and realize a cool life might actually be happening. even if you are not as aware or as conscious of things to wholly appreciate them, this japan life is still good. in the end, everyone has similar issues with mentality. i, for example, get carried away with the shit.
on the other level, cameras are the modern day "sword". they are nice useful machines and some of the best things come from using them. i reckon i came up with a good many memories of things which perhaps didn't even really exist, but there they are for me to enjoy and cherish - the eyeball girls is a prime example of this. however, on the other hand, cameras suck. i am glad i threw mine at the wall and shattered the lcd screen last time jennifer irritated me. it didn't cost $300 or anything, it was nothing to me,,,just a material object clouding my vision.
- end of yoshida comment -
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