kitty

so there's a cat that's been sneakily sleeping at my house. he tries not to show himself but i see him curled up against my fence napping in its shadow. i hear his collar bell tinkling at night when i'm chatting online and i can imagine him scratching his neck with his hind leg. i see his back end and his tail as he darts out the window in my living room as he hears me walking in. he's gotten bolder today. i was sitting across the street and watching him openly laze on my porch. he stared back and opened his mouth in a wide yawn.

against my better judgment, i decided to feed him. oh, who am i kidding. i have no better judgment. i gave him with bits of omelette and a half plate full of rice (do cats eat eggs and rice?). he was a bit shy about taking it, but hey if he's going to be sneaking into my living room and sleeping there at night, surely taking my food as well isn't going over the line that much further.

i left him with the rice to give him some privacy. we'll see if he actually eats it.

moment of zen

so i was on my back step enjoying my nightly deathgarette, staring up at the moon and reflecting. i thought to myself: i've got a job that challenges me daily, students who enjoy it when i act retarded, a house, enough money to splurge on the occasional purse and weekend trips, and people who care about me (and whether i've eaten yet or not). what have i got to complain about, truly? nothing.

there have been moments in the past few months when i've hated my job and wondered why i'm doing this again. but for the first time today, i was able to envision myself finishing my service and being happy in the process.

the next time i'm feeling frustrated, i'm going to take a deep breath and remember how students applauded for me when it was time for me to give a speech, how good it feels to curl up on my two layered mattresses, and how close Phuket is if i'm truly feeling down.